yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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