I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
