Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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