i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
