So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
