I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
