Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize