remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
