at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
