Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
