i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My liver just had a heart attack.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
