How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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