burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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