You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
