I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
