I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
