i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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