My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
only if we run a train.
done.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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