YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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