Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
