saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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