maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize