i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
