He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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