i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
