Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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