just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
