I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Who died my cat blue again?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
