Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
