quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You have to summon your inner elephant
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
