home. puking in laundry basket.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
