I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it glows. i had to have it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
