I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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