Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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