You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
