apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Im part way to drunk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
