wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
