Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
