just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
