If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
