It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Come see our sink grown plant.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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