So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
