I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize