I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
