He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So squirting runs in the family.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
