Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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