How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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