I wannas sexs uuuuu
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
