lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
