I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
