god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
no, he came in my armpit
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
