I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
