if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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