He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
