I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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