I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
