She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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