I want to stick my p in your. b.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
