I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
