I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
