hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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