Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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