it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Too much gin, very little bucket
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
