I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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