so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize