Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
