Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Michael Bay diarrhea
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
