I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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