My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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