the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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