Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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