mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize