at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
