I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
