big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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